The Wonderful Wizard of Oztaila
by WhimsicalMayhem
Summary: What happens when you mix Hetalia and Oz? A studdering Dorthy, a Scarecrow with a hero complex, a tsundere Tin Man, a snail-eating Lion and so, so much more...
1. Chapter 1

_I don't own Hetalia. If I did, it wouldn't be as good. ^.^_

The day was gray.

A chill, not exactly cold, but penetrating, had moved across the barren landscape. With it it had brought along a pale, white-washed sky, which drizzled lazily on the soggy field of wheat. Amongst the tall grains was a boy who sat unmoving; simply allowing the rain to wash away the dust that layered his vibrant red hoodie and work-worn blue jeans. In his lap sat a large wicker basket, in which a small polar bear was napping, seemingly undisturbed by the rain.

They sat there a few more moments before a soft voice called out.

"Hungry."

Canada sighed.

"Again Kumatornado?"

The tiny bear nodded.

"Rain." it declared.

Looking up, the boy seemed shocked to see the slow, fat droplets of water hitting his glasses.

"Huh, so it is." His voice was soft, only slightly above a whisper, and airy.

Moving an annoying stray curl of pale blonde hair out of his face, the boy got up, taking his bear with him.

"Better get going or Auntie Uk will start to worry. Not to mention Uncle Lithuania..." he mused and turned to where he could see a tiny farm-house way in the distance. Glancing up to the sky again a sudden feeling of dread overtook him. Canada shivered involuntarily.

"Cold?" Questioned his bear, its dark eyes trained intently on his master. He got a smile in return.

"No Kumaduro, just felt someone stepping over my grave."

"Not dead."

The boy let out a soft chuckle.

"It's a figure of speech Kuma. Come on, let's get you something to eat."

"M'kay."

The walk to the farmhouse was quiet. The occasional songbird would cry out and mice and other such vermin would shift the tall golden stalks. There wasn't much wildlife out in the day; the Kansas terrain was hot and barren, the wheat giving little relief. At night, as the sun dipped below the lip of the world, a deep cold rolled over the land, silently freezing the dew until morning. There seemed to be little relief between the two extremes.

Today, however was different. Rain was a rarity; something that Canada was very thankful for as the crops had been getting dry. If the crops dried out they would die, killing the already small amount of income that Canada and his family had.

He laughed as his bear sneezed, a raindrop plunking heavily on his forehead.

The farmhouse -his house- was small. Three rooms and an outhouse out back. The bedroom was the smallest; one bed for Auntie Uk and Uncle Lithuania and one bed for Canada. Then there was the kitchen, sporting an old wood-and-charcoal fed stove. Lastly was the family room; a window overlooking the deserted scenery, a worn armchair seated near a small fireplace, and a matching couch. The house was small and mostly barren, but it was also clean and warm, some place Canada could come back to after a long day.

Carefully opening the screen door, he paused when he heard his guardians talking.

"...no way we could pay it off in time." he heard his Uncle say in a low, hushed tone.

"Will we have to get rid of the house? Oh dear, we'll lose all our land!" cried Aunt Ukraine, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.

"No, no Ukraine, don't cry! We won't have to do that, I just may have to go and work it off for a while..."

Ukraine's brows furrowed and at first, she looked confused. The, slowly, her eyes got wider, horror etched upon her face. Canada had never seen her look as such, and gripped the corner he was half hidden behind a bit tighter. She grabbed her husband by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her. Lithuania did his best to avert his eyes.

"Please," she nearly sobbed, "You didn't...n...not the ..."

"The coal mines." finished Lithuania. "I'll be gone for a while, but it will be worth it to keep a roof over your and Canada's head."

Now Ukraine was openly weeping, her hands attempting to quell the streams of tears sliding down her face and wetting the frilly apron she had on.

Canada quickly looked away from the scene, sneaking into the bedroom and slowly closing the door behind him. His heart was beating out of its chest and cold fear coiled in his stomach.

The coal mines.

Deep, dark, and saturnine. Nobody wanted to work down there. It was where they sent people with debts so big they would never get paid off. If you went down there, the odds were you wouldn't come back out again. A dangerous combination of cave-ins, flammable gases, and black lung made sure of that. If you did, somehow, manage to make it out, well...

You were different. Canada had seen a man who made it out when in town once. His skin was yellow and black, his hair greasy and coming out in tuffs. His eyes were dull, as if all the light of life had been sucked out. He coughed and hacked, eventually spiting a slimy black glob onto the street. He did not laugh or smile, only stalked in somber silence.

The most horrible thing, above all else, was the man's arm, or the lack there of. One was just gone; from the shoulder down. The other was cut off at the elbow, a rounded pink stump left in its place . Uncle Lithuania had pulled him away quickly after that. Now thinking about it, he should have taken his guardian's worried face as some kind of foreshadowing. At the time, however, he had just put it down to the man's disturbing appearance.

Canada couldn't imagine what would happen if Uncle Lithuania went down there...

"Sad"

Canada jumped at his friend and quickly wiped away the tears he didn't even know had leaked out. Taking a calming breath, he stepped out into the tiny hallway, a smile plastered on his face.

"H-hello Auntie Uk, I'm home. Kumadede is hungry."

His Aunt, who had seemed to collect herself in the time Canada was gone, smiled warmly at his arrival

"It's Kumajiro, Canada." she giggled. "I left him some of the leftover stew from last night."

Inwardly, Canada gulped. " W-where's U-Uncle?" There was a painful _twang _in Canada's chest as Ukraine's face fell.

"He's in the kitchen. He's...not in a very good mood." she hesitated and , for a moment, Canada thought she was going to tell him. His hopes were dashed when instead she simply changed the topic.

"It's raining outside." she stated.

"Y-yes, it feels good. Refreshing."

"The chickens are restless; I think there's going to be a storm tonight."

The blonde's grin nearly split his face, current problem temporarily forgotten. He loved storms. He loved the thunder and the lightning and the way the wind howled against every hole in the house. It made his blood boil with adrenaline and excitement at the thought of such violent weather.

"Big." stated Kumajiro. "Still hungry."

Snapped from his thoughts, Canada stared down at the bear squirming in his basket.

"Big storm."

"Well if that's the case, I better board up the pig pens." said Ukraine, moving to the window. "You remember what happened last time, right?" Canada nodded. It had taken them all night to find those pigs, _during_ the storm no less.

"Come and help me when you're done feeding Kuma then." Ukraine started toward the door. Canada half thought about stopping her, asking her what was really bugging her, even if he really already knew. He knew she would probably tell him. He pushed the thoughts away. He didn't want to upset her again. She would tell him in time. For now...

Well, for now they were happy.

By the time dinner had rolled around Canada had given up hope of there being any kind of storm. It was almost the exact opposite of what it would be like if one were on the way. There was no wind to speak of and the animals were all pretty quiet. The only thing that seemed to be even a little off was the air, which had turned a weird sickly green. Sighing deeply he wandered back down into the wheat field, the darkness of night already settling down upon the world. Kumajiro waddled at his side.

"Leave." he mumbled.

"Not yet Kuma."

"Why?"

Instead of answering Canada flopped down onto the ground. After a moment of silence, he asked the question that had been plaguing his mind all day long.

"What would happen if Uncle Lithuania left for the coal mines? Would he come back?"

The bear scoffed." Probably not."

"Yeah..I kinda thought so. What could do to help though? It's not like they have a lot of jobs left out there.." The odds of him being able to get a job was slim, especially considering how far away he lived from the nearest town.

"Leave."

Canada blinked in surprise. "Leave? Leave home, you mean? What about Auntie Uk and Uncle Lithuania? No, I need to stay."

Kumajiro was now pawing at his side persistently.

"A-ah! Kuma s-stop that! It tickles!"

"Leave."

"I already told you, I can't!"

"Not home. Leave _here._"

Canada blinked again, this time confused.

"W-what?"

"Home! Go home!"

"B-but, I thought you wanted-"

"Hooooooooooooome," whined the polar bear, how was now attempting to push the boy with his head. "Hoooooooooommmmmmeeeeee."

"W-wait- O-oaky, okay, fine. We'll go home, geez..."

Canada got to his feet, Kumajiro completely forgoing his basket and instead leaping into his arms.

"Wha-ah! Kumadingo, what's gotten into you?"

"Home!"

A harsh wind whipped through the field, slamming into the blonde's back and nearly sending him tumbling.

"Home! Home!" Kuma constantly prompted at his chest..

A roar seemed to engulf the world. It raged in Canada's ears and made his spine tingle. The hairs on his arms and back of his neck stood erect (ha-ha, laugh it up immature readers) to the sudden electricity that coursed through the air. Letting his legs work of their own accord he sprinted back to the farm house.

The wind whipped violently, tossing the Canadian and his bear this way and that, even sending them air born for a few short, terrifying seconds. His heartbeat raced and blood thrummed in his vein. What was going on? He'd never seen a storm so violent before...

Being ripped from his thoughts by a random chicken smacked into his face, Canada staggered backward. After some failed attempts, he finally was able to make it to his front door and grasp the handle with white knuckles. Wrenching it open he leapt inside, landing heavily on the wooden floors. Scrambling up, he called out.

"Aunt Ukraine! Uncle Lithuania!"

There was no response, or, at least, none that he could hear above the ever growing roar of the wind.

That roar. _That roar..._

Squeezing Kumajiro closer to his chest, Canada slowly turned around.

A gargantuan black funnel touched lightly to the ground in the field he and Kuma had just been occupying. It ripped into the ground uprooting the wheat and spinning it round and round, as if it were trying to weave gold into its dark depth. It decimated any trees and sheds that were unfortunate enough to be in its path. The dense, angry clouds above seemed to be egging it on, feeding it, like water slipping down a drain. The temperature had long since dropped and the slicing rain had turn into relentless balls of ice, breaking windows and denting metal as it shot out of the sickly sky.

Canada was frozen viewing the monstrosity from behind the screen. It was as if his stomach had dropped out into oblivion and all that was left was a hollow space. Half of him loved it. The fear, the absolute utter terror that something of this sheer size and power could squash your existence within seconds. That half was drinking it in, asking for more. More risk, more fear, more violence. It had _needs_ you know. The other half was panicking, nearly out of its mind with worry at the whereabouts of his guardians. Strangely enough, the panicking half was the one that won out when the tornado turn in a different direction; his direction.

He jumped into action, grabbing the door and forcing it closed. Rushing into the family room he was about to call out for his family when the house howled and shook, the first barrage of harsh turbulence already beginning. Regaining his stance, he finally did.

"Aunt Ukraine! Uncle Lithuania!" his voice was lost within the cacophony of the storm, ripped from his throat and sucked into history. The house lurched, sending the Canadian sprawling into the kitchen and ramming into the counter. Another lurch sent pot and pan cascading on top of him. As a last ditch attempt, Canada open a now empty lower cupboard and shoved Kumajiro inside.

"NO-" the bear's cry was interrupted by the cupboard door slamming in his face.

"Sorry Kuma-" the house shook and a great ripping sound made Canada cover his ears. His stomach lurched, as if he had just jumped off of some high place. Suddenly, his body felt weightless. To his extreme dismay, things started to float around the room, as if somebody had just decided to switch off gravity. Shocked, he felt himself rise as well. He clutched the counter behind him and struggled to straighten himself.

Then, the weightlessness ended and the world crashed down around him. There was a sharp pain as, Canada knew, his head connected with the wooden floor. After that, the darkness welled up in the corner of his vision, eventually usurping it completely, letting his mind go adrift in a far off oblivion.


	2. Chapter 2

Something cold and wet dragged across Canada's cheek. He grumbled something incoherent and swiped at the object.

His body was sore and bruised, the occasional shallow cut lazily bled. His eyes fluttered open, quickly adjusting to the dim twilight of the room. Sitting up slowly, a plethora of kitchen utensils fell off of him and clattered to the floor. The back of his head throbbed painfully and Canada winced.

"Okay?" Before he could answer Kumajiro had made his way onto Canada's lap, nuzzling his chest.

"Stupid." the bear continued.

"Glad your okay Kuma." The blonde murmured, rubbing the top of Kuma's head. Thoughts of what had happened slowly started to filter into his head.

"OH!" He shouted, suddenly leaping up from the floor, causing Kumajiro to go flying into the pile of discarded appliances.

"Merde, merde. merde! Aunt Ukraine! Uncle Lithuania!"

Ignoring the protest from his sore body, Canada stumbled through the wrecked house. After circling around several time, he sank down into a previously righted chair. Kumajiro waddled over to him.

"Find?"

"Oh, K-Kuma, where could they be? D-do you think-" Canada gasped, realization lighting his face.

"The barn! Kumajiji, you're a genius!"

Scooping up his friend, Canada rushed to the front door, ripping it open. He stepped out onto what _should _have been a small step of stairs...

...and fell a good distance, landing heavily on the ground. Kumajiro gave out an indignant yelp at being suddenly squished.

"W-what the-" started the bewildered boy. He dislodged his face from the ground and looked up.

And stared.

And stared some more.

He shook his head, blinking rapidly. That did nothing, however, to change the scene in front of him.

There were plants. EVERYWHERE. And the colors! Bright neon blue and purples and reds and pinks! Trees reached up toward the sky, as did some of the larger species of flower. The grass that he was laying on was more green than any other plant he had ever seen. He felt dizzy looking at it all, as if his eyes didn't exactly now what to take in first.

"Mon dieu." he whispered. "Kumatoto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore..."

Canada squeaked as her felt hands clamp onto the back of his hoodie, pulling him onto his feet.

"W-w-w-who-" he managed, squirming away from the grasp. There was an exasperated sigh behind him and the Canadian looked up.

Holding him was a tall man, pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed tightly closed. His blonde hair was slicked back with what must have been the best hair gel ever. He was broad and lean, with a square jaw and a strict stature. Opening his eyes, the man revealed a stunning shade of aqua, so bright it seemed to glow.

Quite the opposite of the tall handsome man was his outfit; a tight short-sleeved white shirt, decorated around the hem and collar by light green squiggly designs. On his shoulders were green straps that that lead down to a pair of tight shorts; Canada recognized them as lederhosen His shoes seemed to made of green felt and curled quite ridiculously at the toes.

All in all, the man looked strange and...slightly uncomfortable looking at Canada. Before he could speak, however, a mob of little man, similarly dressed, cheered behind him.

"The Witch is dead!"

"Hooray!"

It's about time!"

"Thank you, oh wonderful savior!"

"SETTLE DOWN YOU PUSSYS!" Screamed the taller man in a thick German accent. "Mein Gott lets at least _talk _to the kid first." Taking a deep sigh, the man turned toward Canada.

"Vhat is your name?"

Canada briefly considered giving him his real name, but instead decided against it. There's a lot of things you could do with a name. Instead, thinking back to his old family, he gave a nick name his brother had given him when they were little.

"M-M-M-Matthew." he stuttered out.

"Ah, gutt. You may call me Ludwig. I am the leader of the Lollipop Guild."

Matthew paused. Did he just say...

"L-Lollipop Guild?" Ludwig brought a hand up to his forehead only offering a brief "Ja, ve're Munchkins." in response.

"Where?" question Kumajiro from by Canada's feet. Ludwig jumped.

"V-vhat? Is that a _bear_?"

"Y-yes sir."

"Vhy in Oz do you have a bear vith you?"

"Well, u-um, sir, he's my f-friend."

For a moment the strange man just looked between Canada and Kumajiro. Taking advantage of the silence, Matthew spoke up.

"E-excuse me, where are we? And have you seen my family? Aunt Ukraine and Uncle Lithuania? We got separated during a storm..." He trailed off as Ludwig stared at him even harder.

"Vhere are you? Matthew, you are in Oz. As for your family I am sorry. I have not seen anyone but you step out of that house. Speaking of your house..." The man gestured to the house behind Canada. "It seems as if you should be hailed as a hero, for you have killed the Vicked Vitch of the East."

Canada turned around and almost fainted. From underneath the farm house stuck out two long legs, covered in purple striped stocking and wearing a pair of red sparkly flats. He wobbled and Ludwig reached out to steady him.

"It's not that bad." The Munchkin leader reassured, "You saved us from her tyrannical rule."

"I murdered a w-woman with m-my house Ludwig! How is t-that not b-bad? Oh maple, ooooooooh maple." Matthew forced his breath to come slow and steady.

Okay. He was in a place called Oz with a strange man in lederhosen and he just murdered an evil witch with his house.

He was ready to wake up now.

In the background the little men were starting to sing.

"Ding dong the Witch is dead-"

"SHUT UP YOU PUSSYS! VHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SINGING? MEINE GOTT FOLLOW ORDERS FOR ONCE!"

The music abruptly stopped.

Then, distanced and muffled, they heard a noise.

"Ve~"

The munchkins swarmed back toward the house, stampeding and trampling the colorful foreign foliage, still more spilling forth from small, nearby houses. They all gather onto a beautifully paved street.

To Matthew's amazement, a person was floating down toward them, swaying clumsily in a large bubble. The bubble pop audibly on the pavement, the person stumbling out, but catching themselves."

"Oh fich..." murmured Ludwig.

The person was...the most feminine male Canada had ever seen. It did help that he was dressed in a fluffy pink dress and heels, sporting a sliver crown and a sparkly wand.

"LUDDY!" He shouted in a high- pitched Italian accent. His eyes shot open revealing them to be a magnificent deep gold.

"Hello Feli-_ARG!"_

"Feli" as he was called, hug tackled Ludwig, nearly toppling the larger man over. He flushed in the smaller man's embrace.

"Feliciano, ve have a guest...hero...person..."

Releasing Ludwig, Feliciano stumbled over to where Canada was.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not used to wearing heels...BUT anyways you must be Mattie!"

As he talked, Feliciano had a single curl in his amber hair that just refused to se still. It seemed to be the only lock out of place in the man's shoulder-length hair and Canada had to resist the urge to pull it. He wondered if that why people were always trying to pull his curl...

The dress hugged the Italian well since he was slim and lean; somewhat like a cat. He couldn't really tell why but he could feel himself getting flustered just by looking at him. He could imagine how awkward Ludwig felt, obviously knowing the man previously.

"U-uh, h-how did you..." attempted Matthew, but his voice died in this throat when Feliciano attempted to fix his dress. Tossing it this way and that, the Italian probably hadn't realized he had shimmied it up pretty far...

"FELICIANO, PUT DOWN YOUR SKIRT!" exclaimed Ludwig and backed you the demand by tugging the skirt down to cover the previously cover backside.

"WHOA Luddy ve~..."

If Ludwig could have gotten anymore red he would have turned into at tomato on the spot.

"Okay, I w-would like to wake up now..." stated Canada, taking a step back from the pair.

"Wake up ve~? Why? You not asleep!" Feliciano cheered happily, completely ignorant to the situation that had just occurred. "Luddy told you, you in Oz! And you killed the Wicked Witch of the East!"

" I-I-I didn't mean to..."

"Let me introduce myself; I am Feliciano, the Good Witch of the North. I have a brother too, named Lovino, but he's the Good Witch of the South..."

"Feli, could you maybe get to the point?" suggested Ludwig politely .

"Oh yeah! You killed the Wicked Witch of the East, who was ruling over the Munchkin kingdom with an iron fist! you freed them!"

Canada could feel his head spinning. If this was real then..then...

"I-I really didn't mean t-to. I came here on a-accident. I just w-want to g-get back home, so if you could p-please help me..."

The Good witch seemed to consider Matthew, his slender fingers tapping against his chin. "Well, you did save the Munchkins...hm.." He suddenly snapped.

"I got it! Just hold still a moment!" The Witch snapped again, this time it was directed at the body crushed under the farmhouse. The Wicked Witch of the East's ruby flats disappeared at the noise, only to reappear on Canada's feet, his old shoes long gone. Canada squealed and, tripping over his own feet, fell backward onto his bum.

"W-W-WHAT did you do?"

"I gave you her shoes! They sure are pretty ve~ and they match you hoodie!"

"W-w-why?"

"Oh, well there supposed to be magical, so I'm sure you'll find a use for them later on?"

"Later on?" Canada had been hoping the shoes could have magically transferred him home. Now that he thought about it, the idea did seem kind of silly. What would he do, click his heels together?

"OF course! To get home you have to see the Wizard!"

"The Wizard?"

"Ja," chimed in Ludwig, " The Vonderbar Vizard of Oz."

The Italian shivered. "Luddy, when you say it like that...ve~.." He winked and Ludwig went back to being red.

"W-well how do I get t-to the Wizard of Oz?"

Feliciano smiled. "Seguire la strada di mattoni gialla!"

"Um..."

"Follow the yellow brick road." translated Ludwig.

"The yellow brick road? Will you come with me?" asked Canada. Both men shook their heads.

"This is something you have to do alone. Besides, we have to start cleaning up the Munchkin kingdom after the Wicked Witches rule."

"You mean _I_ have to clean up." The munchkin leader mumbled.

"Just follow the road and it'll take you to the Emerald City, where the Wizard lives!"

"A-are you sure?"

"Positive!" The Good Witch pointed past the house to a yellow paved road that lead away into a large field of grass. Turning back to the pair, something was shoved in Matthews's arms.

"Here's some food for the road; although if vord travels as fast as it usually does, you'll have no troubles finding a hospitable host."

"Wh-"

"Oh! And don't forget your bear- that is a bear right?" Feliciano deposited the bear on top of the basket. Matthew could feel them pushing his forward.

"Off ya go!"

"But-"

"Go on! it'll be an adventure!"

With that Canada was shoved down the road, protesting as he went. When finally the pushing did stop he turned around to see find that his two companions had disappeared.

"Quoi?" Questioned Kumajiro.

"Um...I don't know. I guess we should keep going."

"Where?"

"To see the Wizard."

"Who?"

Although he didn't know why, the question made him smile.

"The Wonderful Wizard of Oz."

_Reference _

French

Merde: Shit

Mon dieu: My God

Quoi: What

German

Mein Gott: My God

Gutt: Good

Italian

Seguire la strada di mattoni gialla: Follow the yellow brick road


End file.
